I say often, “Kids are kids, no matter where they learn.” I still believe that’s true, but today’s middle schoolers have endured so much and I have seen wide variance in their ability to thrive through the challenges of the past few years. It’s no wonder parents and educators continue to struggle to support them through what is already an incredibly important developmental phase. That’s why I was excited to hear about Middle School Superpowers, a new book from Phyllis Fagell that’s all about building psychological resiliency in this age group. I sat down with Phyllis to learn more about these superpowers and why she felt this book was needed now more than ever.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
SS: Shifting the narrative of middle school from a negative time to one of great opportunity is central to AMLE’s mission. You do such a wonderful job of that in this book. Why was that important to you?
PF: I totally reject the cultural narrative that middle school is a time to dread. That doesn’t mean it’s an easy phase. It’s an opportunity. Yes, it’s a messy time and they have brains that aren’t fully developed. But that means you can still shape the person they will become. I wrote this book because I see middle schoolers as superheroes in the making. But they need adults to help activate their superpowers. I list twelve superpowers in the book, each one is a different chapter, and each one talks about why this superpower is important during this particular developmental phase and how to help kids acquire it.
SS: You write in the book that, amid all of the challenges kids face, it’s such a critical time for them to develop this resiliency. Why is that?
PF: Yes, I talk in the book about how the turbulence of middle school is now combined with the turbulence of growing up in a word with so much uncertainty. It’s no wonder parents are more fearful and kids are more anxious. But all the things that we tend to do in a situation like that (back off, not get as involved, throw up our hands, dread the phase, etc.) are the opposite of what we should be doing. They need us so much right now.
For kids, it’s easier to make big mistakes with social media and their combined offline and online lives. The stakes in a lot of ways seem higher than in past generations, but the stakes are high only if we don’t help kids grow from missteps. And in many ways, these are the same middle schoolers we’ve always seen. They’re insecure, vulnerable, and impressionable. They think they can change the world with only their conviction and a well-worded petition. They very much want to make a difference and feel that they matter. They have a hard time interpreting feedback. But when you add in social media, a pandemic, a culture of political divisiveness…now I’m seeing what I’m calling extreme tweens. They’re the same middle schoolers, only more so. I think that’s what’s making it hard for a lot of educators. But the good news is that we can essentially create a universal design structure for social emotional learning. Whatever works with these extreme tweens now will work with tweens in less messy times – and with tweens all over the globe. No matter where I am in the world and no matter what grade structure a middle school environment takes, I’m seeing the exact same thing. Which really underscores how distinct the phase is and how little there is out there to support these kids. There’s not enough research or writing. That’s what makes AMLE such a great organization. There’s just not enough support for the people who are raising and educating these kids.
SS: That came to mind as I read the book. You could design an entire advisory program around these superpowers!
PF: I love that! In each chapter, and much more so than in my first book, Middle School Matters, I include ideas for educators. For example, in chapter one I make very tangible suggestions for how to address social awkwardness and build community. I wanted it to be as useful for educators as it is for parents. A lot of the stories actually came from the health classes I teach.
SS: I loved one of those stories, in particular, where you led students through a social scenario. By the end, they’d all changed their minds to say they’d take the more appropriate action– and I don’t think they’d even realized they’d been gently guided to that conclusion by you.
PF: Absolutely. I try to take what we know about the developmental phase: we can’t lecture, they can’t feel judged, if they get stuck in shame they can’t learn, if we impose a consequence that doesn’t make sense to them or if we remove them from the classroom, all we do is make them feel disposable. And we know how important relationships are at this age. How can we teach the things we know they need to learn, those social skills they struggle with, and operationalize it for them in a way that makes them feel like it’s their idea? All the recommendations are designed to impart the ideas they need to know to be healthy, good, wise people without simply lecturing them and telling them to be healthy, good, wise people. Kids don’t intuitively know what that looks like in practice – we need to teach them.
SS: So what are the superpowers?
PF: There are twelve superpowers:
- Super Flexibility is the power to manage change and uncertainty.
- Super Belonging is the power to find your place and make strong connections.
- Super Sight is the power to anticipate problems and make a plan.
- Super Vulnerability is the power to know when and how to ask for help.
- Super Bounce is the power to learn and recover from missteps.
- Super Agency is the power to find your purpose and take initiative.
- Super Force Field is the power to set healthy boundaries.
- Super Security is the power to take pride in your identity and step into someone else’s shoes.
- Supe Healing is the power to cope and self-regulate emotions.
- Super Balance is the power to set a reasonable pace and realistic goals.
- Super Daring is the power to go out on a limb and take smart risks.
- Super Optimism is the power to find hope and humor in the hard stuff.
SS: While always useful, those feel particularly needed now. Had you been thinking about this book before the pandemic, or did it come about as you observed how kids changed during and reacted to it?
PF: I had no plans to write another book. But only a few years after Middle School Matters was published, I realized kids were growing up in an exponentially more complicated world. I talk in the book about being able to pinpoint the moment I realized this while speaking at a school in the United Kingdom in early 2020. I remember thinking that middle schoolers are the same everywhere. But, of course, but then the world shut down overnight and I became acutely aware that some middle schoolers had an easier time than others. Given the rapid changes, I felt that psychological resiliency for middle schoolers now merited an entire book. So, yes, I would say the book came out of the pandemic because Middle School Matters needed a sequel.
SS: Do you think there is any particular subset of students that would most benefit from this skill development?
PF: I think it’s kid- and skill-specific. For example, if a kid only engages with friends online because they’re fearful of face-to-face communication, they need to bolster their Super Belonging and their Super Daring. I didn’t write the book with one specific subset of kids in mind. I see all middle schoolers as superheroes in the making. They all need to work on these skills. Rather than maligning kids, which our culture tends to do, we should see all middle school kids as needing these skills. But as I say in the book, we should build off their existing strengths rather than fixate on their deficits. No one does better because they think they’re lacking in some way.
SS: So there is no middle school unicorn kid that comes equipped with all of these skills?
PF: That’s so funny you say that! I include an exchange with a group of students in the book where I told them that maybe there’s a magical shiny unicorn 7th grader in glitter land that doesn’t get lonely, but I have yet to meet them. One of the students responded, “I bet even in glitter land the 7th graders get lonely sometimes.” Every middle schooler sometimes gets lonely, is sometimes disorganized, is wondering if they’re good enough, wants to connect with their teachers, the list goes on. Confidence comes from competence. When kids acquire skills, it boosts their confidence. We can give them the tools to make good decisions, experience fewer regrets, and build their self-awareness and self-esteem.
SS: I love the inclusion of the student interactions. Humor is such an important part of middle school. Why was it important for you to include that in the book?
PF: Every chapter starts with quotes from students. I want parents and educators to hear the voices of kids throughout the book. First, that helps them better understand the people they’re trying to support. But second, they are the funniest humans on the planet. They make anything more fun to read.
You can purchase both Middle School Superpowers and Middle School Matters in the AMLE Store, where shipping is always free for AMLE members in the continental United States (discounted elsewhere).