April 2006 • Volume 9 • Number 4 • Page 5

Perspective

Sue Swaim

Relationships Do Matter

While on a recent NMSA trip, I found myself delayed at an airport for an extra five or six hours, so I wandered into a bookstore to see if anything caught my eye. And something did. Among the new releases was a book entitled Marley and Me, by John Grogan. I think what initially got my attention was the cover shot of a yellow lab puppy that looked just like the seven-month-old puppy that was waiting for me at home. Without a doubt the subtitle hit home as well: "Life and love with the world's worst dog." Our new puppy's ability to get himself into all sorts of trouble has become a comical and patience-challenging journey for my husband and me.

As I read the book I found myself laughing out loud, crying occasionally, and identifying with the author's discovery that unconditional love comes in many forms, and even a dog has life lessons to teach us.

Last week, as a powerful thunderstorm seemed to shake the foundation of our house, I was reminded of Marley, the yellow lab, and his fear of thunderstorms. If left alone during a thunderstorm, Marley would panic and desperately try to find a safe haven, even if it meant shredding rugs, clawing paint off concrete walls, or attacking a door to try to chew his way inside. At times his efforts were so fierce he actually hurt himself, but the pain didn’t deter him. He didn't calm down until the thunderstorm passed or his owner arrived home to bring him to safety.

I thought of Marley as I watched our puppy's reaction to the thunderstorm. His ears perked up and his eyes turned quickly to the window whenever he heard thunder or saw lightning. With every flash or boom, he moved closer to me and nudged my hand for an extra scratch of his ears, as if to reassure himself that despite the raging storm, he was safe with us. And I obliged, calmly reassuring him that the thunderstorm would move on and the sun would shine again.

Is there a life lesson in all this for middle level educators? I think so.

Many of our students find themselves in the midst of personal thunderstorms when they arrive at our classroom doors. It really doesn't matter whether the thunderstorm's source is school-related or home-related, young adolescents can't make it go away simply because it's time for class to start. Often their most urgent need is to find a safe haven with a caring adult to offer reassurance and support when the thunder and lightning seem overwhelming. For many young adolescents, this safe haven is found at school, in your classroom … and that caring adult is YOU.

The life lesson is that relationships do matter! Today's middle level schools must reflect the dual purposes of middle level education: academic achievement and personal development. Effective middle level educators have a deep understanding of the students who have been entrusted to their care. They recognize their strengths as well as their fragileness. They demonstrate care and respect for their students by being around them, talking with them, listening to them, and building genuine connections.

Skilled middle level educators anticipate a gathering storm and seek out ways to help their students find a safe haven until the storm has passed. They understand that a caring learning environment leads to increased learning and academic achievement. They understand its importance in effective schools for young adolescents. Perhaps being a weather forecaster wasn't a part of your initial job description, but it should have been.

May the spring thunderstorms be light and the sun shine brightly as you bring the school year to a successful close.

Sue Swaim is executive director of National Middle School Association.