Blog: Milestones

The Mysterious Thing They Call Self-Care

21 May 2019

The Mysterious Thing They Call Self-Care

I'm a workaholic. I don't mean to be a workaholic, but I'm curious, like to be in charge, and will do anything that I think will help kiddos. This dubious triad of traits creates mad stress in my life, which I mostly thrive on, but on occasion, I look around and ask, "Why am I doing all of this? Who cares?" In the midst of my mini-existential crisis, someone inevitably says, "You just need to practice better self-care." Educator friends, I'm sure you aren't surprised that these moments typically happen in May. And, always June.

The mysterious thing they call "self-care" takes many forms, and it is definitely unique to the individual. One such well-meaning practitioner of self-care suggested that I go for a jog. This would require many things that are not readily available to me in May or June: acceptable attire for such a venture, a thousand dollars at the end of the jog, and energy. Nope. That one is not for me. However, we all know the benefits of exercise and the relaxation it can bring. If that's your thing.

Another mysterious self-care tip was, a la Parks and Recreation, to "treat yourself!" This, I can do. I'm in love with thrift stores, and I could get lost browsing for the perfect item. I collect owls, especially the kinds that look like they belong in a 1970s kitchen, so careful exploring is required. I adore the cute one I found in the earlier part of May (the one in the middle). There is something deeply satisfying to me to recycle or reclaim something and give it a place in my life. This is, ultimately, why I have lots of strange odds and ends in my house! I have a feeling I'll be out on the hunt again soon.

This month let's meet up on Twitter to talk about the mysterious thing they call self-care. I'm so excited to hear from all of you about what you do to escape and recharge—the more unique the better! As a bonus, in the next blog, I'll share some of the Twitter posts, especially if they have pictures. Follow me @MsAmberChandler and use #AMLE to join our cross-platform conversation. Also, subscribe to this blog to stay up to date on the topics we're discussing. The question this month is: What self-care secrets do you have? Thanks for your contributions!


Published May 2019.


Winding Down

29 Apr 2019

Winding Down

When I was five years old, in order to begin my school career, my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Holloway, had to pry me off my mother's leg and coax me into her classroom with promises of making a necklace out of macaroni. It worked, and for 40 years, I have calibrated my life to the school calendar, never once starting a year without walking into a classroom, either as a student or a teacher. This is about to change, and I'm both excited and petrified. I've taken a position as a Teacher on Special Assignment (TOSA) as the Alternative Learning and Intervention Coordinator. I'll be working with the amazing teachers in my district, collaborating with a guidance counselor whose job has been redefined to work exclusively with these kiddos who need more time and attention, and a principal who is excited to make this happen. The best part is that I will still see students every day, and it is my actual job to figure out ways to make education work for them! However, as I prepared to write this blog, I'm feeling much like my students as the year ends. I teach eighth grade, so they will be leaving the middle school and entering a whole new world as they move on to high school--which is both familiar and completely different. How can we provide closure for our students as the year winds down?

I always try to provide closure for my students, but this year, for obvious reasons, I'm a bit more attuned to the disorientation of change. I've decided to do three things that will help my students (and me) get ready for the summer and the year ahead.

Look Back

So much changes in a school year, and it is often hard to recognize growth. However, in my class we will soon begin Passion Projects, and students will end my class by sharing a 10-minute presentation about something they care deeply about. I snapped tons of pictures as students presented this year—beginning with their one-minute presentation that stressed them all out. I'm going to make sure they remember their former, nervous selves as they now confidently own the podium. I'm in the process of making a video of all the pictures to share with them as a reminder that they have grown into excellent communicators and encourage them to use those skills as they embark on a new journey. I want them to understand that they have developed the skills for this next phase. I want me to understand that I have developed the skills for this next phase.

Give Thanks

It is important to remember who has impacted us along the way. Sometimes, in the midst of living our lives, we don't take the time to tell those who matter the most that we notice the extra effort. I give my students the chance each year to write two thank you notes, one for an elementary teacher or staff member, and one for someone at the middle school. I have my local teacher's center print cards for me to keep the cost down (see image of the card I created at the top of this blog). I put on music, pass out colorful markers, and give students the chance to express gratitude and reflect. I send their cards through interoffice mail, and I love to hear how happy teachers are to get them.

Throughout May and June, every school has those bubbles of time at the end of class or when an exam ends and students need something to do. I'll be leaving a bunch of extra thank you cards in the back of my room for students to grab at their leisure. I want them to practice being thankful for where they're from. I want me to practice being thankful for where I'm from.

Look Ahead

This is the tricky part. I can't exactly tell my students what to expect. I can encourage them to get involved in the many activities that are offered, and I can tell them they will find their place. Most of all, I can let them know that it is ok to be nervous, and it is expected to feel a bit off balance. I can tell them that they have been preparing for this next step all along, and I'll remind them that they are unique and important and will blow their new teachers away. My goal is to help them see their future optimistically by helping them focus on the many opportunities that lie ahead, even if they are a little scared. My goal is to help me see my future optimistically by focusing on the many opportunities that lie ahead, even if I am a little scared.

This month let's meet up on Twitter to talk about how you handle this time of year. What rituals do you have in place to help your students—and you—bring the school year to a meaningful end? Do you have any special projects? Follow me @MsAmberChandler and use #AMLE to join our cross-platform conversation. Also, subscribe to this blog to stay up to date on the topics we're discussing. The question this month is: How can we provide closure for our students as the year winds down? Thanks for your contributions!


Published April 2019.

An Amazing PLN

16 Apr 2019

An Amazing PLN

I've known since I joined Twitter four years ago that the education community, or PLN (professional learning network), is amazing. I don't follow anyone who is not an educator or affiliated with educators, and my main goal when scrolling is to get inspired.

In the last blog, I posed the question, "How can we, as teachers, help middle schoolers navigate the emotional rollercoaster of adolescence?" Wow did @Twitter thought leaders show up with "I got tingles" comments and "I'm not tearing up, you are" feels. I'm going to share several here and propose our next cross-platform conversation.

There were three "threads" that I noticed, knitting together this conversation. First, we have to make space for the social emotional needs of our students in our routines:

Additionally, we must also allow our "normal" routines to be interrupted when "life lessons" happen.

Next, many educators spoke to the need to share our own stories with students and build relationships with them. It can bring out all sorts of feelings of vulnerability. In my class, I never have students do something I'm not willing to. This means we don't do busy work, and it means that if I ask them to share something, I always model that openness. Do I ever feel awkward? You bet. Welcome to middle school! These educators make it clear that relationships matter:

Finally, I was struck by the educators who make a point of "going along for the ride" with their students. Actually showing up and holding space for students who need us is an integral part of the job for many of us:

And, the one that made me tear up because I've had this teacher—and been this teacher because I had a role model of who a teacher can be:

I hope these educators have inspired you as they did me. Crucial to this conversation is the support we receive from each other as we do the difficult work of meeting the social, emotional, and academic needs of our students. Follow #AMLE each month as thoughtful educators engage in conversations that matter. Thanks especially to @teacher2teacher, @sharemylesson, @middleweb, and all the educators who tweeted, shared, and retweeted to keep this dialog going.

For my next blog, I'll be asking: How can we provide closure for our students as the year winds down?

Follow me on Twitter @MsAmberChandler and use #AMLE to share your thoughts, strategies, and inspiring stories, and to grow together as middle level educators.


Published April 2019.


The Ups and Downs

1 Apr 2019

The Ups and Downs

When my husband and I were dating, and we had all the time in the world, back when we strolled through bookstores, we stumbled upon a book called The Book of Questions. We bought it, placed it in the glovebox of my car, and we pulled it out every time we were stuck in traffic, on a road trip, or just in the mood to "get deep." One of the questions we really loved, and we revisited often, was this: "Would you rather have a smooth, uncomplicated life, without any major pain or sorrow OR would you rather have a path like a rollercoaster, with amazing highs but also devastating tragedies too?" (This was two decades ago, so I'm paraphrasing) We thought this was the most telling question and felt we were very deep for understanding why the roller coaster was preferable. Now, years later, we've come to realize how cute and naive we were to believe that it is ever a choice.

Last month we talked about the milestones and awkwardness of middle school, and it was exciting to see thoughts posted in the comments and those shared across other platforms. Please continue to join this conversation and share your experiences about your students. Back when my husband and I were dreaming of our rollercoaster future, we didn't realize the terrifying fact that one day we'd have our own little people, on their own roller coasters, and we would be largely helpless in the ups and downs of their lives. As parents, it is at turns heartbreaking, exhilarating, exciting, and exhausting.

As teachers, we are in the same predicament. We want our students to take risks, try new things, and grab all opportunities, yet we want to protect them too. I always have knots in my stomach when the cast list is posted for the play or cuts made to the team. Of course, students need to learn resilience and how to lose gracefully, but it is so nauseating to go along for the ride. How can we help them through the ups and downs? Is there even a way?

We can create safe spaces for honest conversations, encourage academic risk-taking by normalizing failing at tasks, allow retakes and fresh starts, and try to remember that like all of us, they have no choice in their life path. I have students who have lost a parent or sibling, others who have been homeless, and still others who are the high scorers, the leads in plays, and earn straight As. Though of course our empathy lies with those who are facing the biggest falls, we must not ignore the pressures that come with the highs as well. Being the lead in the play is scary. The expectation of ability that comes with sports, and the stress of grades and honor societies are overwhelming as well.

Though many students have supports in place to help with this crazy roller coaster, there are many who don't. So, this month I'd like to turn our attention to an important question: How can we, as teachers, help middle schoolers navigate the emotional rollercoaster of adolescence?

Follow me on Twitter @MsAmberChandler and use #AMLE to share your thoughts, strategies, and inspiring stories, and to grow together as middle level educators.


Published April 2019.


Awesome Awkwardness

18 Mar 2019

Awesome Awkwardness

Tonight, at my daughter's orchestra concert, right before the conductor appeared from the wings, a young man accidentally bumped his music stand. His binder tumbled down, his music spilling onto the floor. His stand partner knelt down, whisked his papers up for him, arranged it on the stand, all as the conductor walked out. There was a shared giggle between them, a sort of conspiratorial "well, that was awkward" moment, and with a flick of the conductor's wrist, the orchestra began to play.

As a voyeur to this episode, I was obviously pulling for the poor kiddo, but what struck me most was the tremendous grace that this girl afforded this awkward young musician. The fact is, the media often portrays teenagers and tweens as thoughtless, cruel, and unkind, yet I see daily acts of grace such as this. I'm not suggesting that there aren't bullies and rumors, cyber ridiculousness, and judgmental moments. Trust me, I have an eighth grader, so I know that these also are a reality.

However, many middle level educators count it as a part of our job description to meet these kiddos where they are and teach them to embrace their own humanity and the common experience of what Chris Dolgos, a Rochester, New York, member of my PLN (Twitter speak for Professional Learning Community) calls "awesome awkwardness" in his recent Tweet about middle level milestones. I love what Chris suggests here. Not only must we recognize that our students are trying to find themselves, they are also trying to shed parts of themselves they consider babyish. Chris uses poetry in his class to shape their experience of finding agency and voice.

If you've never watched "Being Twelve" that Chris suggests, you have to check it out! I was entranced by these students, and I'm already considering how I can begin my school year with eighth graders and make our own "Being Thirteen" video.

Marisa Aoki, a sixth-eighth grade math teacher, captures our role as middle level educators perfectly. What I love about her Tweet is that she both recognizes the inherent "mess" that is middle school, but also our real opportunity to help students through it. Those moments of vulnerability are so important for us to acknowledge, but there's more to it than that. For us to harness the power of our influence, we must also allow students to see us as vulnerable. I'm certainly not advocating for tears every time we might feel like it or burdening our students. Yet, I am suggesting that in for our students to grow into the people they have the potential to be, we must allow them access to adults who are thinking, emotional, feeling, and real.

I'm inspired by the grace that middle school students extend to each other regularly. In the midst of that "awesome awkwardness," we as educators can also find a way to connect with our inner middle schooler and be gentle with ourselves and each other.

Thanks for the great first interactive blog experience. Follow me on Twitter @MsAmberChandler and use #AMLE to share your thoughts on our next "Milestones" topic and I'll share with you our collective advice on: How can we, as teachers, help middle schoolers navigate the emotional rollercoaster of adolescence?


Published March 2019.


Introducing the Milestones Blog

4 Mar 2019

Introducing the Milestones Blog

When you tell people that you are a middle school teacher, do they give you an apologetic smile, or say "God bless you," or "Better you than me?" I've found that many people miss the beauty of the middle school world because they don't know the most defining characteristic of this age: students are reaching milestones almost weekly! It is actually hard to believe that the little guy who timidly walks in the door as a sixth grader will, in a matter of years, grow physically and emotionally in ways that are profound, and ostensibly leave a confident and capable teenager.

Physically, we know that even a year can make those first days of school pictures unrecognizable from the end of year slideshows. The inevitable voice cracks, awkward style choices, and the braces everywhere can take its toll on the kiddos and parents. I'm the mom of an eighth grader, and the crisis over the fact that she can't find the "right" black leggings, as opposed to the other five pair of identical black leggings, is exhausting for all of us. I haven't experienced the boy-in-the-middle yet, but I will next year when my son Oliver comes up to the middle. As educators, we can protect these students from each other, and even more importantly, from themselves. We have the power to model positive self-image, strong senses of self, and encourage them along the way.

Emotionally, these kiddos are struggling, but they are also so genuine, and real, raw, and courageous, that I am in awe of them. I love the conversations that we have while dissecting social class in The Outsiders or while they are stressing about taking their first mid-term. When you gain the trust of a middle schooler, there is no comparison to the loyalty they will give you. Recently, when my mother-in-law passed away, my middle school students were more at ease sharing their own grief with me as a means to commiserate and be empathetic to me. I'm so proud of all they go through and still they show up! Not to mention, statistics tell us that 1 in 5 kiddos have mental health issues. Guess who is often the first to do the sideline diagnosis that can lead to getting treatment? We are.

So, as I was trying to come up with a title and theme, I realized that "milestone" captures this age very well. This is going to be a column that explores those milestones, celebrating all that is magical about the middle, as well as tackling some of the issues that come along with the territory. Though I've taught middle school for more than 15 years, I'm going to need some help along the way, so I'm going to take to social media to hear from all of you! Be on the lookout for questions on Twitter from @MsAmberChandler, using the hashtag #AMLE. I'll be reaching out to some of the middle school thought leaders to help balance out our conversation. Please feel free to email me at AmberRainChandler@gmail.com, send me a message on Twitter, or leave a comment here for topic ideas, your thoughts on questions, and above all your expertise.

The first question I'd like to pose is this: In your grade level, what is a milestone that you have the privilege to observe and share in?


Published March 2019.


Amber Chandler

Amber Chandler is an ELA teacher at Frontier Middle School in Hamburg, New York, a recipient of the 2018 AMLE Educator of the Year award, and author of the AMLE/Routledge book The Flexible SEL Classroom. In this blog, Amber examines milestones that make teaching in the middle a truly unique experience, and shares ideas from middle level educators that ensure we reach every student, no matter what it takes. < blog home