Appreciation: A Post-Valentine Declaration!
Appreciative Things to do and My Appreciation List
Now that Valentine's Day is behind us, let's talk honestly about love and appreciation. The most important part of Valentine's Day is about what you do after Valentine's Day. It's about how you show your appreciation the next day and every day after—after the flowers have been delivered, the cards have been written, the candy boxes have been unwrapped, and the special dinners have been eaten. It's about the small things we do every day for each other. That's what real appreciation is all about.
So what's this have to do with middle level education? We know the deal: we all need to raise the praise and increase the appreciation in the middle grades. And yes, there are plenty of articles, blogs, posts, and books with practical tips and strategies on boosting morale and keeping faculty members happy and appreciated in schools. Take the time to read them—especially if you think appreciation is an overrated concept. Guess what? It's isn't. In fact, appreciation is super important.
Here's my quick list of things to do to amp up appreciation in our schools:
- Be the example. Spread appreciation around like it's soft butter on a warm biscuit. Like it's sunshine on a cloudy day. Like it's a cold and you are sneezing praise all over the place without a tissue. Leave your own baggage at the curb and genuinely thank someone.
- Get out there. An appreciative email is nice and convenient, but if you really want to show appreciation, go find the person and say it to them. It may be a little awkward at first, but nothing shows appreciation more than when they can hear it in your voice and see it in your face. And if that's just too much for you, call them on the phone.
- Do the expected. Take care of the things that teachers, students, and families are asking you to do and expecting you to do. When you fulfill your duties and responsibilities from a place of love, you show appreciation.
- Do the unexpected. Say the little positive thing to someone in the hallway. Put a glowing note on someone's desk or in someone's mailbox at a random time. Tell a student that you appreciate that they're in your class on some unexpected Wednesday afternoon. Deliver fresh biscuits to every teacher in your building on rollerblades while wearing a "Hot 4 Teacher" sign (something our admin team joyously did after testing…just because). Sometimes, appreciation doesn't necessarily need to be planned out and put on a checklist.
- Listen. Show appreciation in conversations. Instead of thinking about your own response/reaction/rebuttal, actually hush your mind and listen to the words that someone else is saying. And if they're sharing a problem, let them know you hear them and that their problem is real and you get it. Sometimes, people don't want you to be Mr. or Ms. Fix-it. They just want to talk it out with someone who appreciates them.
- Be real. When you raise the praise for someone, get emotional. Get specific. Get genuine. And if the moment arises and you have their permission, get public with your appreciation. Stand up in a faculty meeting and shout your love and appreciation from the rooftops! With that in mind....
Here's my post-Valentine's day appreciation list. What would yours look like?
I love and appreciate (knowing that I'm flawed and might forget someone):
- My wife who taught second grade for six years and now works at an elementary school as an aide for students with severe and profound needs. She busts it every day and does so with grace, care, and kindness. Oh, and she's also been through it all with me and our two boys when I was a teacher and administrator and continues to keep it real with me as I do what I do for AMLE.
- My two boys who amaze me every day with their boundless minds, hearts, and spirits. They, too, have been through it when I was an administrator and continue to rock and roar now that I'm with AMLE. I marvel at the amazing things they say, the awesome connections they make, and the futures that they are creating for themselves every day.
- My parents who showed me through their tireless example what it means to serve and to give back. My father was a US Marine for 29 years and retired so he could get his physical therapist degree and help people in need. My mother was an operating room nurse who worked in the most urgent situations and was on call all the time, but never complained.
- All the schools I attended and all the teachers I had who cared for me, who put up with me, who connected with me, who pushed me, who made me feel like I made difference in the world—and as a military child (not a brat), I attended a lot of schools (both public and Dept of Defense schools): Lilyputs and McGogney Elementary in D.C.; John B. Dey Elementary in California; Pattimura Elementary in Jakarta; Alanton Elementary, Lynnhaven Jr. High, and Frank W. Cox HS in Virginia Beach; Lejeune HS in Camp LeJeune, North Carolina; and JMU and GSU, too. I don't want to call out specific teachers here because I'll probably forget someone, and that's not the point. Every teacher had an impact on me, and I appreciate them.
- Tracy Sonafelt and Betsy Zimmer at Harrisonburg High School back in 1994, my first year of teaching. They made me feel welcomed at the school, while also showing me the ropes. And they never made me feel inept or inadequate—even though I'm sure I did some inept things as a first year teacher.
- My first students back in 1994 in Harrisonburg, Virginia. I appreciate their tolerance as I tried to teach ninth and tenth grade Basic English as a first year teacher.
- Anita Jackson, Jane Jones, Barbara McGuire, Susan Messer, and all of the great folks at Ridgeview Middle School in Fulton County Schools in Georgia, who were there when I first started teaching middle school. Coming from a high school setting and from a different state, I was like a deer in headlights and they showed me how to embrace working with young adolescents.
- Vicki Denmark, who brought me on as a teacher at River Trail MS in Fulton County, who taught me as one of my best professors at Georgia State U., and who showed me what exceptional leadership looks like. I appreciate her wisdom and her guidance at all times.
- Elizabeth Fogartie and everyone at Webb Bridge Middle School in Fulton County. Ms. Fogartie brought me on as an assistant principal and gave me freedom to try new programs and initiatives to help students and teachers—and she also had high standards and expectations that helped me stay in line. And she continues to be a middle grades leader today. All of the teachers and staff at Webb Bridge helped me grow as an administrator with their patience, diligence, and humor. I used to make them homemade cookies to show my appreciation during the school year, but I know there aren't enough cookies in the world to show my appreciation.
- All of the people in the Haynes Bridge Middle School community who supported me during my time there.
- Sherri Black, former principal at Big Creek Elementary School, who took a chance on a middle school educator and brought me on as her assistant principal. Among the many lessons I learned, I appreciate everything you taught me about elementary school life and about speaking with one voice as an administrative team.
- The entire AMLE team—present and former. I appreciate you setting the stage for everything we do in the middle grades and for bringing me on the team. We are a merry band of misfits, and I appreciate each and every one of you. I appreciate how you work so tirelessly to bring great resources to folks everywhere, to serve with grace and joy, and to amplify the voices of middle grades educators everywhere.
- All of the educational consultants I work with at AMLE who really get it. You, who show your appreciation and honor for the cause of education. You, who understand that the real, real, real work is being done in the classrooms and schoolhouses. You, who understand that we're in a privileged position to go out and deliver workshops, have conversations about teaching and learning, and offer suggestions through our content. You, who drive the miles, take the flights, pack the bags, leave your families, plan the sessions, do great jobs—all for middle level education.
- All of the middle level educators out there who are doing the work in the field and serving young adolescents, their families, and the critical cause of middle level education. Because I've been in the classroom and in the administrative office, I know you are busting your hind parts each and every day to make all of this happen.
Again, I know that I may have forgotten someone on this appreciation list—and that's because my brain is addled and also because no list is ever done. So now that Valentine's Day is over, it's time for all of us to show the love and appreciation. So get out there, be real, make a list, and share it with the people who matter and who you appreciate in the critical middle grades.